29 Jun 2020

Boris Johnson’s most trusted, it somewhat controversial Seriously Advisor Dominic Cummings has pledged to “take an axe” to the planning system.

In a conference call with government advisers that has mysteriously found its way into the pages of The Times, the PM’s most senior adviser said that there would be no return to austerity and that the government would address “long-term problems” such as the planning system. 

He also denied that there would be a reshuffle and dismissed suggestions that Gavin Williamson, the education secretary, could be moved on as “invented bollocks”. 

Cummings also reportedly heaped praise on chancellor Rishi Sunak and scorn on opposition leader Keir Starmer.

“Developers, landlords, and homeowners will be delighted if Cummings manages to put the anti-progress planning departments – whose sole aim

appears to be to frustrate the nation and the government in the provision of sufficient homes for the population – back in their box,” said Landlord Licensing and Defence director Phil Turtle.

“Few who have ever had the misfortune to come up against the ineptitude and progress blocking antics of this band of jobsworths will mourn this axe-murder!”

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